There is nothing wrong with giving your young adult a leg up as they enter the big, wide world; however, this can easily lead to enabling mode if you're not careful. When should you stop paying your kid's way? Here are a few strategies on how to give your kid a big hand up, not out.
I get it, it's difficult to move the kids out. But, it really is what's best for them in the long run. If you've haven't invested in them as much as you would have liked, it may be a more difficult conversation. However, I have faith you can do it! Here are six tips to help move the kids out and get them on their own two feet.
If you haven't already, sit down and teach your kid how to budget. You can't expect them to manage additional responsibilities if they can't manage the ones they already have. For more tips and information on this subject, check out, "How to Build a Strong Budget That Actually Sticks."
Dropping the hammer cold-turkey rarely works so set a deadline and have multiple, intentional conversations that will help everyone prepare for the inevitable cut-off point when you move the kids out. Birds don't learn to fly staying in a nest. Give them small responsibilities that increase progressively so they can grow in the meantime. Make sure to remain supportive during this transition period but be careful to not cross the line into enabling. Do the work with them, not for them! It is critical they learn from their own mistakes–that's how responsibility grows!
Utilizing a financial coach can be a great way to break the ice, demonstrate the importance of the matter and bring transparency to the conversation. Encourage them to connect with a coach who can help them build the foundation they need. If you are paying for the coaching, make sure they are contributing a percentage as well. That added personal investment on their behalf will increase the probability they take the process seriously. I conduct these joint sessions often and see some phenomenal transformations. I can coach anyone anywhere, virtually. Get in touch with me today to book a free consultation.
In some rare cases, it may make sense to share certain expenses (i.e. a cell phone bill). Before you decide, consider:
If you only require they pay access and device fees for a cell phone, they aren't paying their share of the data and minutes pool. Not sure what I mean? Check out, "Understanding Your Cell Phone Bill." Secondly, even if it does help lower expenses, is it really what is best for them? Sure, it is always better to pay less; but, is it giving them an accurate picture of the cost of these services and how to manage them? Remember to think beyond the numbers–especially when moving the kids out!
Even if your kids are blessed to the point you can cover all of their expenses, it isn't wise to do so! Just imagine how poorly they'll handle their inheritance when you pass away. Without training, they may squander it, which could lead to their own ruin! That's not the kind of legacy you want to leave.
While it may be more comfortable not to include your kids in your personal finances, research shows it is better to open up these conversations and ideas when they are teens. Transparency breeds trust and when they trust you, they will listen to you! "Do as I say, not as I do" doesn't work! Allow your children to observe your spending and other financial habits–even your mistakes and struggles–and have quality discussions about it!
When you move the kids out, it can be nerve-racking. Instead, take charge and lead by example. Don't let them learn the hard way. Teach them! This will in turn help them, and you, find more money to fund your dreams.
Question: Do you or your kiddo need help cutting the cord? Are you afraid you're giving them a hand out instead of a hand up? I can help! Contact me today.
Want to provide your kiddo with five additional areas to save? Be sure to check out my free e-book so they can start saving! Learn to cut the costs of cable too. For more information, check out my Cable Cutting Academy today! Lastly, come join my FREE Facebook community, the “Strong Together Money Community.” to stay informed and encouraged on your financial journey.